Yesterday was one of the worst reactions my husband and I towards my son's meltdowns and whining. Since Dylan started having seizures January 2012 and have been on medication we have observed a fluctuation of emotions with him. He usually was an emotional child who was sensitive and did not take correction well... but now it feels as if I am completely loosing control of the situation.
Dylan just does not get mad... he gets really mad and stays mad at the person for a long time afterwards. Dylan does not just get sad ... he gets depressed and say things that really worry me.
"You do not love me...."
"I am the worst son in the world..."
"I wish I was not hear..."
These statement really hurt my heart but they are also accompanied with a complete raucous meltdown that instantly drives me crazy. Because after this point anything I say is ignored and he acts as if the world is coming to an end.
I know since the introduction to the medication there have been some noticeable changes in him. But the most obvious occurs when he is not having his way. He does not have the patience and he does not grasp the concept that there are consequences for his actions when he goes against what I tell him to do.
It is really hard.
Just as I try to explain why he cannot have the snack now ... instead Dylan listen - think - understand ... he more focuses on what he wants and feels that if he whines about it... just maybe... he will get his way.
Unfortunately the opposite happens and I end up sending him to his room for arguing with me and whining for not getting his way. I get angry for his inability to understand and he gets sad for not getting what he wants. Plus if given the chance he will lie in his bad and cry for at least half an hour feeling very sorry for himself.
Today I was doing some research on the medication he is taking. I already knew them, but I wanted to see if his erratic behavior also stemmed from what his body has been emotionally and physically going through. I also planned on calling his therapist today. He had not seen her for a year now, but with the red flags going up, I think it is time for another visit.
This was what I got from one of the sights I visited...
The good thing about reading this is that there is some connection to Dylan's unstable behavior and after talking to the therapist I realize that Dylan plus Jude and Myself need to take some sessions to help reduce the am ought of emotions rising around us. What the specialist said was true...
"Jillian your family have gone through a lot and do not know how much pent up stress everyone is off-loading since everything started... we can all meet and I can help you with age appropriate techniques to help with Dylan's behavior and I can also help you'll with some methods of dealing with the unforeseen stress that arise..."
To me she was a God sent and an answer to my silent prayers. I needed to hear this and not feel as terrible as I did this morning. I realize it is good to get an external party involve and assist in calming things down.
The amazing thing is Dylan has the ability to be the sweetest boy. With other adults he is helpful, kind, respectful and every loving (giving hugs all the time). But once he is not getting his way he really becomes difficult and emotionally unreachable.
So fingers crossed we are heading in a better direction.
Dylan just does not get mad... he gets really mad and stays mad at the person for a long time afterwards. Dylan does not just get sad ... he gets depressed and say things that really worry me.
"You do not love me...."
"I am the worst son in the world..."
"I wish I was not hear..."
These statement really hurt my heart but they are also accompanied with a complete raucous meltdown that instantly drives me crazy. Because after this point anything I say is ignored and he acts as if the world is coming to an end.
I know since the introduction to the medication there have been some noticeable changes in him. But the most obvious occurs when he is not having his way. He does not have the patience and he does not grasp the concept that there are consequences for his actions when he goes against what I tell him to do.
It is really hard.
Just as I try to explain why he cannot have the snack now ... instead Dylan listen - think - understand ... he more focuses on what he wants and feels that if he whines about it... just maybe... he will get his way.
Unfortunately the opposite happens and I end up sending him to his room for arguing with me and whining for not getting his way. I get angry for his inability to understand and he gets sad for not getting what he wants. Plus if given the chance he will lie in his bad and cry for at least half an hour feeling very sorry for himself.
Today I was doing some research on the medication he is taking. I already knew them, but I wanted to see if his erratic behavior also stemmed from what his body has been emotionally and physically going through. I also planned on calling his therapist today. He had not seen her for a year now, but with the red flags going up, I think it is time for another visit.
This was what I got from one of the sights I visited...
WHAT ARE THE EFFECTS OF TEGRETOL ON CHILDREN?
Because children absorb Tegretol so quickly, side effects like sleepiness, double vision, or dizziness can be a problem for children. Parents and doctors also need to watch for problems with thinking or behavior. These problems are uncommon, but if they occur they can interfere with the child's development and school performance.The good thing about reading this is that there is some connection to Dylan's unstable behavior and after talking to the therapist I realize that Dylan plus Jude and Myself need to take some sessions to help reduce the am ought of emotions rising around us. What the specialist said was true...
"Jillian your family have gone through a lot and do not know how much pent up stress everyone is off-loading since everything started... we can all meet and I can help you with age appropriate techniques to help with Dylan's behavior and I can also help you'll with some methods of dealing with the unforeseen stress that arise..."
To me she was a God sent and an answer to my silent prayers. I needed to hear this and not feel as terrible as I did this morning. I realize it is good to get an external party involve and assist in calming things down.
The amazing thing is Dylan has the ability to be the sweetest boy. With other adults he is helpful, kind, respectful and every loving (giving hugs all the time). But once he is not getting his way he really becomes difficult and emotionally unreachable.
So fingers crossed we are heading in a better direction.
I'm sure it's hard and frustrating to see your son behave that way, but it sounds like you are heading in the right direction by seeking help and working with your son. I hope the therapy sessions will help all of you. Good luck!
ReplyDeletewow, my heart breaks for you! My son is 22 months and he was pitching fits and screaming and was out of control, but not talking... he is doing a lot better now as the doctor has put him in speech therapy where he is learning sign language as a way to tell us what he wants and then it breaks that frustration... I can't even imagine the seizures and how scary that must be for you, and now the side affects of the medicine to stop the seizures... that post is so touching to know there are more moms out there sharing what they are going through instead of sugar coating it and making their life sound absolutely perfect. Thanks for visiting my blog today and I'm so happy to be following you and your story now and my prayers are with you and your family.
ReplyDeletexoxo
Tricia